


Anyone as Backup

by NothingToDoWithMe



Series: Anything [6]
Category: The Goodies (TV), The Goodies RPF
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Manic Episode, Musicians, Quickies, Sex, Sexual Humor, Swingers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 04:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NothingToDoWithMe/pseuds/NothingToDoWithMe
Summary: FICTIONAL sexual antics of Bill with backing singers whilst in a manic state.





	Anyone as Backup

**Author's Note:**

> ‘M’ here is a guy – a musical director, partner to one of the women and he’s older than B.  
> Warning – stupidly overwritten sex.  
> So hit me with that Bad Sex Award; I don’t care, I get off on this like you wouldn’t believe.  
> That key has a hundred and one uses (see Anything Simmering).  
> Come with ‘Miss K*’ to the abandoned recording studio.  
> Take your sherbet now – yes, all of it.  
> You’ll need several packets to achieve the visions. I assure you, it’s worth it!  
> Now put your ear to the wall, tune in to the echoes of sweet, long-ago funk and drop out.  
> Sleevenotes: This tale is in stereo. Speech is in italics, with thoughts in square brackets.  
> You’ll hear males in the right channel, females in the left.  
> Action also divided by sex, bilaterally. Oh, you’ll see what I mean…  
> Now, on with the ‘story’…

B has a thing going on with one of the women backing singers (we’ll just call her S1 – no names, no stories).  
By the middle of today’s vocal overdub session, he’s got so horny from being around her and all the great sounds, he can’t focus.

After admonishing B for missing his cue the third time, M sighs.  
_Sorry, everybody, take five – make that ten!_

It’s either grant B’s customary shag break or run out of studio time.

_(Man, you should have taken care of that before you came in.)_

_(Well, I did, but…y’know…)_

_(Chrissakes, B!)_

The engineers and singers stand easy – except B, who, already standing pretty hard,  
gives S1 a slight beckon with his head and slips out into the corridor.

She rolls her eyes at her friend (S2, another woman singer) and follows him.

Bouncing away from the wall where he’d been fidgeting impatiently, B lays a perfunctory kiss on S1 and urgently grabs her hand.

_To the Love-Cave, Robin!_

_Okay, but –_

[Stopping:] _What?_

S1 whispers close to his ear: _I’ve got my period._

_Oh, that’s why you sucked me off this morning! I was wondering. I know you’re not keen, normally.  
So? Do it again – but I’ll give you some tips this time._

She slaps him in the face.

_You’re a spoilt bastard, you know that? And keep your voice down._

_Sorry. Look, I didn’t mean anything by it, sweetie.  
Only joking, your maj. _[Bows and kisses her hand.]

_Oh, what the hell am I meant to do with you?_

_…  
Grip me off?_

_[Acerbically] Why bother? You’re much more of an expert wanker than I could ever be._

_[Sucks in air over teeth] Ouch, very good! I asked for that, I suppose.  
Anyway, we don’t have long; I’ll give out the parts when we get there…_

B starts to walk down the corridor but S1 doesn’t follow. Puzzled, he reverses.

His girl is still standing with arms folded, looking peeved.

He gives a soft groan, glances towards the studio and checks his watch.  
Then pauses for a second, a furtive look in his eyes, before strolling casually back to her and clearing his throat.

_Hey, I don’t suppose you and…and… That is…  
Any chance we could swing? Everybody’s doing it. _

_WHAT did you say?_

_Get with it! You know… change partners?_

He cringes slightly, fully expecting another slap. Oh, well, it was worth a try.

About to automatically object on the grounds of his selfishness (and probably chuck him), S1 stops to think.  
S2 never has rows with the zen-like M, and seems very happy, although admittedly she doesn’t rave about their sex life.  
A change could actually work for more than one of them, especially right now.

_Right, you… Sit, stay!_

_[Tickled; panting:] Yes, Mistress!_

S1 re-enters the studio, discreetly fetches M and S2 away from the techs, and quickly outlines the plan to them in low tones.

B peeps through the porthole.  
_Thinks: [Please say yes, this ain’t no tin whistle down my trousers –  
and despite what she says, I do prefer company. Someone soft and warm to hold, ooh…please?] _

>Aww. Poor puppy. I’m almost sorry for the idiot.<

Crouching, B anxiously edges the studio door open a crack, just in time to hear M pronounce:

 _Weeell, it’d be cool with me_  
[Thinks: Bit of side-pleasure with a new chick; I know I can lay on the old charm. Spicy!]  
But only if you can dig it, Sugar?

 _S2: [Thinks: Ha! Never even thought about making it with B. Can’t imagine the little guy could impress me, but I’ll try anything once._  
Although it will probably be like doing it with a younger brother out of charity.] She stifles a rather unkind laugh.   
Ahm…OK, why the hell not? I’m no square!  
Turns to S1.  
Are you sure, girlfriend? You said you and B were dynamite together.

_S1: Huh! Dynamite’s destructive, too, you know?  
I just need a break for a few days – he’s so bloody self-absorbed. _

B, rubbing his hands together, thinks:  
[Guilty as charged. But I’m not exactly getting punished, am I, Clever-clogs?]

_M: Okay, ’till…?_

_Let’s say…Thursday._

_Right, I’ll give the kid the good news…_  
Gets to his feet and spots B skulking and smirking through the glass as he approaches the door.  
_Oh, you’re here already. Might have known. We_ were talking about you, after all.

B enters at speed.

_Yes, it’s– NOT SO FAST!  
[He holds him up with a hand on his chest and steers him firmly away from the ladies.]_

_Listen, Trouble. [The gentle giant speaks softly but clearly.]_  
Yeah, she’s brave enough to try this mad experiment, but if you dare hurt or even insult my goddess,  
there won’t be any more ‘fun’ for you – with anyone, anywhere, any time, ever again!

 _Erk!_ B grimaces and nearly loses the will...  
_Understood, Sir! Promise I’ll be nice._ [Gives Scout salute.] _So, all set?_

They all look at S2, who gives a polite smile. 

B returns this with easy charm, and holds her gaze.

_S2 [to B, but for the benefit of S1:] Huh. You’re lucky we girls haven’t synchronised!_

_???_

_???_

_S1: [Grim smile.] Never mind…it’s a girl thing... Mutters: and what would B know about mammals?_

S2 ambles over to B and sighs. _[Sarcastically:] Step on it, Beanpole, I’m titillated now!_

_Grrreat!_

Gripping her wrist, B eagerly rushes S2 out into the corridor before she can have second thoughts.

_Woah! Slow down!_

He fairly sails her along, skidding around a couple of corners  
until they stop in front of a room down a side corridor.

B fishes a key from a hidden pocket in his watch bracelet,  
unlocks the door, removes the key…

_[Not been in here before. I hope it’s a secret executive bedroom.]_

…pulls her in – she looks around excitedly, breathless as a burglar in the gloom.

 _[Oh. Just a dingy old store room, and so untidy! It’s full of dusty and outmoded equipment – broken, by what little I can see in this light. No bed, not even a couch, so where…?_  
Why bother coming all this way for a simple knee-trembler?  
For heaven’s sake…how they can ‘get it on’ with all that mess of old sheet music on the floor, I don’t know…but by the noises we’ve heard, they certainly manage somehow!]

She waits against the wall, frozen to the spot with confusion.

Not bothering to hit the light switch, B hastily locks the door from the inside and re-hides the key at his wrist.

_[What, precisely, do they do to make all that–]_

Rounding on her with an expectant lopsided grin, B slips his arm up around S2’s neck  
and coaxes her face to his level to get stuck in for a serious canoodle.

S2 is a bit taller than S1  
but it’s not difficult to collapse into B’s embrace  
because suddenly her knees are weak –  
must be the rush from the mad dash;  
surely not…anticipation of what’s to come?

He has to hold her up, in fact. And he’s pleasantly stronger than he looks.  
It sure was worth the journey, she realises with a melting sensation.

Pressing forward between her legs, B goes in for the main kiss.

  
A little shocked, the lady moves her knee to cut him out and lean Victorian love-seat fashion but B gets what he wants for now.  
His keen mouth alights on hers in delight and, even as their awkward clinch is closed, she allows that he’s ready to rock, as promised.  
Now that they’re alone together, despite realising that it wasn’t originally for her that he got hard, she’s curious and keen to take advantage.

Busy B takes a whistle-stop manual tour of the vital statistics of his ‘temp’, whilst never breaking that dizzying kiss.  
Giving appreciative little chuckles into her mouth as he checks her out,  
he cannot stop hopping about slightly with glee at his luck.  
She’s a whole lotta woman.

Her breathing gets deeper and more urgent  
as the unaccustomed rough and ready handling stimulates and excites her.  
_[The change of pace is a welcome jolt, and sneaking around like teenagers rather fun.  
Plus, it’s nice to be appreciated so fervently.]_

 _[Yeah, I was right, that’s no padded bra; tits feel as gorgeous as they look_  
– it’s plain she really digs me kneading them gently:  
I can practically feel them swelling in my hands!  
And no chance of missing these crowing nipples,  
just beaking for a tweaking.]

_Hhfmm! [Translation: Clever boy! Playing me just right, I’m surely simmering now;  
feel me stretching my mouth wider so I can…]_

_[Oh, now I have to concentrate on tongues and tits at the same time, do I?_  
But who’s complaining!  
Quick pinch of the nips,  
shame there isn’t more time, I’d dearly love to suck’em as well...   
Gotta move down and check out that substantial bum…]

_Insinuating his hands between woman and wall for a tickly feel, B travels down waist valley  
and out to the beautiful rounded foothills for an enthusiastic massage._

_Mphooommm Haa [Yes, your big, strong hands have got my ass on board_  
(especially those teasing pinches),  
and that conviction’s spreading forward in me to meet your own readiness.   
She swings her hips and repositions her leg forgivingly to embrace his body again,  
now desperate to urge his pelvis closer to hers.  
I’ll show you that I’m fairly sizzling, shall I?]

_Hrmm [Great! she’s squeezing my bum in return –  
changed your opinion of me, haven’t I?]_

_[Hurry up, slowcoach…]  
_She stoops a little lower still…

 _MmmPH-K!!_  
[Goose me, would you, hussy?  
Watch out, or it could be all over too soon!  
Lucky old M; he’s got a right goer – one who needs me NOW, obviously!  
Don’t worry, I’m enjoying the kissing but I’m on my toes to give you what you really need.  
One last check…please be as ready as you’re acting!]

Without warning, he roughly gathers up her skirt with one hand whilst the other  
slithers up against warm thigh…and breaches her nice white fence.

_[That’s right, boy, I’m ready. Thrilling to feel you there!  
Hello! Receiving you willingly! Do dive in, please!]_

As soon as he gets his digits right in for this rude recce, B’s delighted to find how wet she is for him.   
With her being older than her friend, he had thought he’d have to finger her a while  
and hold his ache even longer, but no such delay!

>You got that arse-about-face, lad!<

Finally releasing her mouth…  
_OFF!  
_ …he commands gruffly against her neck, tugging down on one side of her knickers.

Breathless at how quickly his shameless pawing has worked on her,  
S2 eagerly helps him to yank down her dampening white panties  
but accidentally knocks over a stack of manuscript as she kicks off the clinging garment.

Both of them lose their footing on the paper-slide – it’s so messy in here,  
and B never could keep still for long.  
She nearly falls over, and they make more mess as they save themselves, which ought to be a drag,  
but just adds another frisson of mischief!

B wastes no time chuckling over slapstick; he has a serious job to do.  
Steadying his partner and sashaying her backwards to an even darker corner of the room,  
he grabs her hips firmly, gathering up the skirt again to expose her totally,  
and gently begins to position her, as though by experience.

_Hey! Where are we?_

_Whispering: Welcome to the Foundry [firmly smooching her into silence]. Shh, you’ll like this!_

Her arms oddly romantic around his neck, S2 is forced by the unexpected darkness to cling to B – it’s all rather exciting. She can feel something upholstered under the edge of her naked ass as he sets her down – of course! It’s a piano stool, adjusted to just the right height for him to work at, and it feels like there’s a pillow on it, too. Beside her on the perpendicular wall is a set of built-in wooden shelves, which she guesses she may need to grab at shortly.

Finally he’s above her and admirably dominant-looking; she can just make him out in the dim glow from the fanlight over the door they entered by – the sudden glamour of his backlit moustache framing a sensual mouth, that shaggy hair; the twinkle of his amused eyes, disdaining for a brief moment her assenting face, imagining himself her tormentor as he eases those magic little fly buttons open.

In two shakes of a drumstick, the Hound is leaping free  
and sniffing out his track between yet another pair of complicit legs.

_One, two, three and in [easy]!  
So hot a haven; the recollection is always pleasantly shocking._

One of his forearms gains purchase on the wall and the other arm’s supporting her.

Confident in her gliding wetness, she welcomes the taut bulk of his lower body into her snug thigh‑embrace, relishing the sweet, rough difference of man, holding him as he fits home with grateful glee, against and into her vulnerable centre. Reaching out to hug his shoulder in satisfied early bliss and as an anchor for the movement which now begins rocking them both, she enthusiastically demonstrates her intuition that she can join in the dance as an equal.

_[Aha, you catch on fast.]_

His voice and hers soon murmur in bestial duet, crooning to the rock’n’roll.

B’s eager heart, so near hers that she confuses its rhythm with her own, thuds with determination as the pace steps up.  
After a minute, the stool tips slightly against the skirting and begins a regular tattoo on the wall.

 _[Oh!_  
But didn’t he realise we’re opposite the studio?  
I expect he doesn’t know how much that noise carries,  
through the rudimentary soundproofing.  
Please let the others start singing or something to cover this racket!  
But I certainly don’t plan to ruin the vibe by giggling.  
Not when it feels this GOOOOD...Mercy!  
Yes, even better when you kiss my neck, B!]  
She slides her hands under his skinny t-shirt and digs her nails  
into his hot, flexing back to communicate approval.

 _[God, you’re randy! Well, So! Am! I!]_  
B thrusts even harder to emphasise each word of his punishing thoughts  
as her sharp nails both annoy and turn him on.

 _Brief flashes of rational thought amidst the turmoil:_  
[I guess S1 knows precisely what we are up to!  
I’m an aural exhibitionist!]

_> Maybe S1 and M have already started getting to know each other? <  
>…thought neither S2 nor B. It was just me thinking that. As if all this weren’t enough.<_

B isn’t put off his stroke at all by the noise they’re causing –  
if he does know they can be overheard, it’s irrelevant.

>Let’s tune into B’s ‘reel thorts’ and check. Oh, dear, trying out lyrics even at such a moment:<

 _[Why, yeah, hot mamma!_  
Scratch me, squeeze me, dig me, tease me…  
Do your jive, swive me alive...]

>Stick to ‘shake yer boom’. Oh, you are shaking it; yes, of course. Like a thing possessed!  
Mm-mmm. Very hypnotic your thrusting is, too – what a flexible spine! Phwoarrr!<

_S2: [YES! Relentless rhythm, champion love-drummer!]_

To quash her irrational fear that the wall plaster might crumble from the battering, S2 concentrates on the unexpectedly agreeable sensation of his cock drilling her cunt in perching position. Crucially, she can refine the angle of the ‘anvil’ so the very bones of him can pound and grind at the right spot, with explosive effect. Total contact overload! Slowly but surely, blood’s being pushed into every far capillary of her thrilled body. And he’s even thought to protect her head from the wall with his hand. This has definitely been rehearsed and refined. Thanks, sister. It’s panting time, toe-pointing time…

 _[Knee-trembling time! My favourite form of exercise, yes, indeed…_  
OH GOD, let this paradise last just a little bit longer!  
You’re mine, now, woman; I have you in lust.]

_Mmm… [Should I try this with…er…um…whatsisname?]  
Ooh. [Ingenious set-up] Aaiah! [God, we haven’t got long to go!] _

B’s making quieter sounds of enjoyment now, as if not to ruin his concentration:  
it’s evident from the low-level vibration she can feel in his torso that he’s far along.  
He’s trying not to show it but, while he still can,  
he is subtly monitoring and relishing her mounting excitement.

Like most imaginative guys, if S2 only knew it,  
B feels way more potent when he makes his partner come off as well.

He wills her to share his confidence from its very source – pleasure.  
Like many, she’s perceived it at one remove up to now: his soulful voice; salacious lyrics;  
performance style so committed, it goes beyond cheesy to become potently lascivious.  
Now this joy is unmistakably lodged within and without her.  
Strangely innocent in its single-minded pursuit.

Letting go of reality, in tune with her fresh admirer, she feels utterly free.  
She is a damned lucky passenger in his sports car, hijacked into the fast lane.  
Could she be regulating her reactions to synchronise with his?  
The whole performance is so effortlessly conducted  
that it matters little who is holding the baton.  
It’s a joint effort that’s really no effort at all.

Now he’s starting to make louder grunts  
acclaiming his fast-approaching ecstasy in totally having her,  
and this woman can’t wait, either!

She is willingly tensing up and ballooning breath as he attacks her more firmly, using all the relentless force of his rapidly-clenching buttocks, or she might actually scream, _Shoot! Both barrels!_

But there’s no need to wait – quick! There is a soft groan  
and she senses the trembling B suddenly succumb to finale.  
  
In squeezing her leather-booted calves tightly around his quivering thighs,  
as though to lock him inside and make the moment never-ending,  
she allows him to carry her up with him to see heaven,  
and probably prevents his dropping to the floor as his legs lose sensation –  
there is nothing in the world he can feel but the orgasm start its rush up his shaft.

**_[F-A-N---T-A-S---T-I-C!]_ **

As though from someone else’s chest, she hears a wail of willingly-pinioned liberation –  
plucking a surprising new note from her –  
as she finds herself leaping the final fence as one with B.

Man lurches violently at his gasping peak, all logic gone,  
pleasure arcing tautly between brain and that other head,  
planted safely just where he adores to– has to– have it:  
down in the warm, watered, worshipped depths of Woman.

I am bucking with your fucking, holding on while I stretch the ecstasy with my legs.  
I have melted, let you lead until I’m beaten,  
I’ve flipped,  
burst!  
I’m buzzing with sneeze-tingle all over…  
whilst your aggressive achievement dominates and honours my target at the same time,  
totally scratches my itch  
until I twang with outer and inner jerking  
you turned me up to 11 and my fuse blew.  
I feel the total tangy pleasure-rush in body, brain, lips, lips, and lips!

Automatically jetting, mindlessly injecting,  
giving, pulsing, emptying, filling her cave up with himself,  
his furious roar of release at that divine moment of completion and possession  
is loud, triumphant; almost painful.

_[Bet the whole building heard us – and aren’t they jealous!]_

The Call of the Wild Thing  
possessed by the urge to screw and come.  
Why the Fuck Not?

Life is to be enjoyed, as long and as hard as you can.  
You’re a long time dead,  
and before that you could even get old!

Unthinkable.

_Why am I weeping, when I’m so happy?  
Is it because it’s over? Not quite._

Time to savour the measureless drift down through the juddering glow, both players becoming dreamily aware that everything that was engorged is fully spent.

The ecstatic inner twitching, while she’s still lapping up his essence,  
eventually calms down and fades.

 _(As soon as he remembers how to think in language:)_  
[Good; oh, great! I felt your orgasm was long and torturous.  
Don’t ever try and escape it; I will just grip you harder and hold you to it, you know!  
**Take your squirm-punishment like a woman** – I order it, GRRRR!  
It’s fabulous to know that I did that to you;  
you aren’t looking at me but I’m grinning like the cat that got the cream.  
Because your joy prolongs my happiness.   
Christ, you’re hot!

In turn, she’s glad he gripped her madly during her fit,  
because she wasn’t sure which way was up.

 _Phew. Serenity at last._  
Well, that worked like clockwork.  
Except it was more miraculous than mechanical, wasn’t it, my sweet honey-comer?]

Eventually, she’s so sure she’s reached the buffers,  
his closeness now only causes pain where only a moment ago  
there had been shocking pleasure.  
Enough is a feast. _[Out! But do come again, you lovely, dirty, stupid mutt.]_  
It’s slunk, but she knows it’ll soon sniff its way back, large as life and twice as beefy.  
  
Thanks, B, if that timing was in any way to do with you!  
He can’t be absolutely ‘self-absorbed’ in that case.  
Or was it beginner’s luck with us? Hope not.]

B brought heaven with him. The sort that’s highly infectious.  
Best gift; only gift a girl truly needs.  
Oh, Buttons: it fits! It fits!  
Sod the prince; he looks like a girl alongside you.  
I’ll take you. The real thing.

You pressed the right button.

Collapsing against her chest, he gives a couple of exhausted sobs as S2 cuddles him instinctively to herself for a precious minute,  
relishing and memorising the salt of his thoroughly-exercised skin.

_[So…is it this frantic every day, else he can’t focus? I’d know if he was on something.  
This level of urgency and neediness surely isn’t usual…] _

But B soon puts the shutters up again,  
denying himself the thankful kiss he might have shared with S1,  
shyly turning away from this one’s preoccupied expression before she can start any chick-talk.

Taking a deep breath, steadying himself for a moment against the wall,  
he finally bends to hoick up his waistbands.

_Ah, that hit the spot, thanks, Miss Tate &Lyle! Was it good for you, too…oo-hooh!  
No need to answer – I can see it was! _

His teasing gaze, as he straightens up and backs off, taking the intimate shadows with him, lingers on the dimly-glimpsed roses still in bloom on her upper body.  
He’s acting as though he’d only just realised, but they both know he heard and felt her flip at the same time as him.

He turns coyly away to fasten his velvet jeans.

 _[Back to being a cocky bastard. But you have to love his cheek. Talking of which, why am I now hypnotised by his firm little tush?_  
I’ve seen it so many times but never been ‘interested’ in that way – I just found B, by turns, musical, funny or annoying.  
But now this view’s always gonna jog my memory as the motive power behind that satisfying steam‑hammering I just had.  
Oh, dear; I came to sneer but stayed to cheer his rear! Corny, but true.  
I’ll try not to make him even more swell-headed by telling him, though.]

A toss of the pet stallion’s mane and a childlike smile, and he’s back to his bouncing, fast-talking self.  
_Come on, darling, I’ll work properly now, it’s all cool!_

_[I’d say you were working incredibly well just now!]_

Quick kiss, arm round her waist encouraging her back to work.  
_Clock’s ticking, love! Sorry; time’s up._

_Oh-OK, just a second!_

S2 tries to stand; her head’s spinning and her legs trembling embarrassingly.

_Um, d’you have a hankie, B?_

_Here you are, lovely; it’s clean._  
Did I even make your nose run? Ha, ha!  
Sorry, was that rude? [Respect! Respect! Or I’ll be in trouble with the old man.]

 _It’s fine. No..._  
Do you think you could find my panties, please?  
Somewhere back there, I think; they’re white; should be easy to spot.

_[Graciously:] With pleasure, ‘Mrs M’._

As B turns to search between the shelving, she uses his white hanky to wipe out her glistening pussy – and lingers over her task because she’s getting delicious aftershocks.  
When she opens her eyes, he is watching her avidly, whilst rubbing round his neck and under his arms with her panties!  
What the hell –

_Hey! Give those back!_

_Give what back? Oh! Whoops – sorry – how NAUGHTY of me!_

He pretends to notice his (not entirely accidental) mistake, adding disapprovingly-raised eyebrows and a slow lick of his lips at her bad-girl enjoyment over his hanky,  
which makes her blush again as a vision suddenly comes into her head of him bending her over his knee and spanking her –

_[Stop! Don’t think about that! Yes, yes, DO! But another time; I must suggest it or I’ll regret it. I’ve an instinct we’d both enjoy such a ‘game’ as soon as we have more time…]_

_CATCH!_

B pings her underwear back across the room;  
it hits her in her soppy face and interrupts her kinky fantasy.  
He then has the gall to wink and tut sadly at her, as though he can read her mind.

_[Look I can’t help myself, Okay?  
Besides, if she’s not in a good mood now…!]_

Valiantly feigning disgust, she puts the limp garment back on – it feels more his than hers, now.  
Her intimate parts, held for the rest of the day in his musk?… Yuck, surely?...  
Not at all! Hugely erotic, in fact! Bet he did it on purpose, the sneaky little –

 _Same again tomorrow, eh, dirty lady?_  
He laughingly mimics her orgasmic squeal in falsetto:  
_‘A-o-a-o-haargh!’ Heh-heh, thought you were an Alto, didn’t you?_

Plainly, he takes it for granted she will want a daily rematch.  
(Or is he hoping to avoid trouble with M by making her laugh?)  
She ought to be insulted but…he’s spot-on, actually,  
so she just joins in the silliness and sticks her tongue out at him!

_[OK, what next? Better take this right off the scale to make sure…]_

Her heart suddenly races as, giving a devilish chuckle, B leaps in close again,  
but it’s only to snatch his hanky back.

_MINE, I think! Ooh, thanks for the Chanel Number Five!_

He takes a deep, exaggerated but sadly ineffectual sniff from it  
prior to showily stuffing it into his hip pocket with a stiff, pointing finger  
whilst gyrating his hips and scatting on ‘Asteroid’:  
_Looking forward to the ‘coming attraction’, ba-baa, ba-baa, ba-baa, ba-baa…Baby?_

This does the trick. They both break out into gales of snorting giggles.

_[My god, what have I started?  
It’s unfair, why is this idiotic laughing gnome also a great lay?]_

_[Sorry, had to play the fool to put you off:_  
you know what M will do to me if you fall for me.  
Well, I don’t think I’ve upset you – yet – at least.]

_…_

Everyone carefully looks elsewhere as the two of them stroll back into the studio,  
light of foot and politely looking away from each other  
in a doomed attempt not to beam like loonies.

Oh, yes; they had an audience.

At least it’s washed away B’s tension,  
although whatever’s going on within the other new pairing might cause more, in time.

 _S2: [M! I feel bad now, even though you sanctioned it. What I’ve just experienced is several gears up from your steady style –_  
don’t get me wrong, you do get me to nirvana, just by the scenic route.  
I don’t want to hurt someone so incredibly loving and supportive – the change more than did me good but,  
for a while, I forgot all about you, and that’s shaken me.

 _To be fair, we haven’t had to try and snatch a quickie in years._  
And I’m not sure this feeling of fun with B will last for ever – just look at the state of S1.  
Although:- is it just he’s a tactless bastard, or is she a little unimaginative? …  
No, no, I can’t say that about my friend – but I do feel she could meet him halfway.

 _Hm. S1 seems to be exchanging intimate looks with M already – could have sworn he’d just been kissing her when we came back, too!_  
I don’t think B noticed. Would he be jealous if he had?  
Frankly, I think he thinks with his dick too much to care either way.  
Or maybe S1’s just wrong for him.

 _Please grow up, B. Could you ever want me with your heart, too? No, M put him off that idea. He’s so protective of me, the big teddy bear._  
Gulp, actually, I do love you, M – stop looking at S1 that way! Oh, dear. I’ll have to work on my possessive streak, or... oh, it’s all a bit confusing; who cares?   
We can’t have hang‑ups; we’ve always been a solid team, and I love this job. It’ll shake down somehow. Be professional now.]

A refreshed and proud B, suffering no such complexity (just another notch on his belt), grabs the mike;  
everyone’s at the top of their game and soon the track’s well and truly laid, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Will the arrangement proceed without jealousy?  
> Will they need a rondo? (Bags I Sundays.)  
> Can B stay polite for a whole four days?  
> I hope so, for his equipment’s sake!  
> Miss K over & out.  
> *If you don’t know who Miss K is, you should read ‘Any One’s Mystery Mail’.


End file.
